Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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