Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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