I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
