ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Boobs speak an international language.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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