If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
