i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
