I will die if light touches me.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
you inspire me to be a worse person
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
