So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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