He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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