; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
