remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
