is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
