Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
