just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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