I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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