He is an equal opportunity slut.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
