Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
