Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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