Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
