just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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