upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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