i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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