No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
