it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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