physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
