so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
