cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
