and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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