i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
my poor anus
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
