it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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