I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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