Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
