Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
