We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize