how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
