Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
