you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
