she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
