you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
