did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
