I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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