Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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