I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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