I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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