I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
