He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
