Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
