Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
