So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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