She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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