I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Less talking, more tequila
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
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