I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
