I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
