Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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