But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
