Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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