What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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