i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
