I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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