His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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